DhairyavAn labhate siddhim.

Sri gurubhyo namaha.

It feels strange to be back blogging after the pause of the last couple of months. Why, I couldnt even sign in to blogger in the effortless fashion of the days of yore. To think about it, it does indeed feel quite strange to be back again. Many things have happened in the last couple of months and my life is not what it used to be - will never be again, either. The previous sentence is meant to read in a very 'positive' tone. That my life is not what it used to be is not a lament, but an affirmation of change, a proclamation of joy. In my mind, I am saying that from the top of the gopuram of a temple in the highest reaches of the lofty Himalayas! Yes, my life will never be the same again.

The principle of change, which in essense is the only constant, is one of the greatest gifts bestowed on the sentient beings. I know, many people out there are hell bent on resisting change. They are focussed on the one absolute and unchanging being, and fair play to them. But personally, I cannot but relish the power of change. Many a time in my life, I have held on to what is 'mine' with the grip of one holding to save himself from sinking deeper. I have attempted to utilise the power of my sadhana to keep things still and as I know them. The fear of 'what if' was always present and was an enormous obstacle to appreciating the spontaneous and infinite rhythm of life itself. Then at some point, due in absolute certainty to the grace of my Guru and Maha Tripurasundari Herself, I developed courage. I am no warrior and I certainly dont plan on becoming one (if I can help it, that is) and the courage I speak of is not in the usual context. It is the courage that develops as the faith in the Guru and the devata matures. It is the state of mind where not only fear, but doubts and contradictions cease to matter. It is the state where the eternal and unchanging love and compassion of the supreme Devi became perceptible to me. When I clearly and without doubt realised that She is compassion incarnate, and that Her heart is (and always has been and will forever continue to be) full of love towards the multitude of universes - I understood that nothing can ever happen to 'me'. Whatever incidents and events happen(ed) to me in my life are Her own paths to Herself. She sets the tests and She clears them through Her own effort. I am forever held in Her heart and have never spent time away from there. And once I was able to hold on to that feeling, fears and doubts vanished as does the early morning mist on contact with the sun. I have since been able to continue and progress in my sadhana and have been able to be 'totally' open to the change in and around me that is a result of the sadhana.

A guru and scholar who I greatly admire (secretly, as he seems to be impervious to my approaches) puts it beautifully - '' The power of Amba by which she veils herself and causes unity to appear as diversity is called 'Maya'. It is the principle of change, and its beauty and significance will only be caught by one whose vision is pure enough to sense the rhythm of infinity.'' Great words and very aptly put. I hope that someday I will be able to meet him and convey my deepest regard for him. And as the title of this post says it in a few precise words '' dhairyavAn labhate siddhim'' - only those who bravely deal with the obstacles and changes in the path acchieve 'siddhi' or success in the path. Courage alone wont be enough for this inner transformation, the grace of the guru and the entire guru mandala, and a lot of effort; conscious effort is needed too. And about the nature and intensity of that effort, there will be plenty in my next post!

om sri gurumandalarupinyai namaha.